Mother's Day
by Victoria1127
Summary: Sometimes you have to feel pain to understand pain, and Rachel Berry very well knows that.


For Greer 

As it goes on January 15th every year, Kurt's closest friends know to leave him alone—to support him from afar. He's not the type to be coddled or pitied, and he doesn't want you to acknowledge the fact that you know today is a rough day for him, as it always has been. He feels as though today should be remembered in silence and deep thought, and as such, he will only speak to answer questions from teachers and when spoken to directly.

Mercedes knows this. As does Tina. As does Artie. As does Finn.

However, as always, there is someone who does not get the memo, and this year, it was one Rachel Berry. When she sees him with his face buried in his locker, she stops to chat with him.

"Hey, Kurt. Remember to be working on the group number for tomorrow. You were a little flat yesterday—of course, it was our first practice back from Hanukkah break, but that's no excuse to get soft." He doesn't take his head out of his locker during this entire tirade of annoyance.

"Kurt? Did you hear me?"

"Yumph." Comes the muffled response.

"Kurt?"

He yanks his head out of his locker, his face streaked with tears and a few little fuzzies from the jacket inhabiting the metal cage, living among the books and cutout magazine pictures of male models with bodies Kurt wanted in more ways than one. He's obviously been crying for a while—long enough that his eyes are red and swollen and almost unrecognizable from their usual shameless smirking. "I heard you." His voice is wobbly and soft, sounding like he is speaking from far away through a mist, even though he is mere feet from Rachel. New tears fill his eyes and he blinks, spilling them down his face.

"Kurt…what happened?"

"I'm not talking about it."

Mercedes happens to come out of the bathroom at exactly that moment, driven into panic instantly, because with Kurt and Rachel it's always hit-and-miss, and today, the likelihood of a hit is about the same as that of Artie making the football team. She rushes up to them and grabs Rachel by the arm.

"HEY GIRL!" overcompensating like it's her job, "I have something to show you in the choir room!" and with the world's fakest grin directed at Kurt, she drags Rachel to the choir room, where Rachel is expecting to backhanded for some unknown offense.

"Rachel, you can't talk to Kurt today."

"What is wrong with him? I just mentioned working on the new number and he started crying…"

"It's the fifteenth, Rachel."

"And?"

"Kurt's mom has been dead for ten years today."

"Oh." Rachel's heart felt hot in her chest. "I need to go apologize, I didn't know."

"No. Kurt doesn't want to be talked to today."

"Fine. Thanks for telling me."

The day wore on without another confrontation. Rachel really did feel the need to apologize to Kurt for being so brash with him, but every time she got close enough to speak to him, Mercedes lingered close behind, her eyes on Kurt, forever the protector.

After school, she stayed with Mr. Schue for an extra ten minutes, throwing out song suggestions until he kicked her out, like every other afternoon. As she made her way to the parking lot, she expected to see what she always saw—her little pink convertible sitting in its space, alone in the vast expansion of asphalt. But Kurt's massive black Escalade was parked in its own respective spot, even five spaces over looking like it would swallow up Rachel's car at any moment. She stopped dead in her tracks. This was definitely not a coincidence.

As she neared the Escalade, she realized Kurt had his head against the steering wheel, sobbing. Sobbing loudly and hard. Rachel made her way around to the passenger side, opened the door, and got in, closing the door behind her. He glanced at her briefly, looked as though he was about to speak, but ultimately decided against it and went back to crying. Almost fifteen minutes passed, Rachel sitting in Kurt's car, listening to him whimper and wail. Finally, she placed a hand on his back and rubbed comfortingly.

"You know, they say that it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, and I don't believe it for a minute."

Kurt looked up from the steering wheel. "I'm not talking about it."

"You have to talk about it." Rachel said sternly. "I never had a real mother. When Shelby did what she did to me, I wanted to do what you're doing right now—cry uncontrollably until the pain went away. But the pain isn't going to go away. It's gonna stay with you. The only choice you make at this point is whether you're going to bottle it up inside you and let it eat away at your heart or unload your feelings and feel the pressure ease up. Those are your choices."

"I miss my mommy." Kurt said, first completely calmly, and then, burying his face into Rachel's shoulder and starting to cry again, "I miss her! She just left! And she didn't even say goodbye! She just left the house and I never saw her again! And I loved her so much, I still love her…but damn it Rachel! Couldn't she have stayed? Couldn't she have stayed to take care of me? I NEED HER!" He wept, leaving wet splotches all over Rachel's sweater, not that she cared. She gently stroked his hair and shushed him and assured him that he was going to be alright. She kissed the top of his head lovingly, and for that moment in time, it was like Kurt Hummel got to steal away a leftover moment with his mother.

The next day at school, Kurt was all smiles and gossip, just as he was every January 16th, the only difference being that when Rachel Berry passed by, they shared a knowing look, and maybe today he wouldn't criticize what she's wearing, and when she gets the solo in Glee club yet again, for the first time ever, he applauds.


End file.
